Smackdown for $400, Alex.
Trying for something non-death-related here.
So, you've probably watched Jeopardy! sometime in the past six weeks, and see the one-man trivia wrecking crew, Ken Jennings, decimate his opponents with the ferocity of a lion and the skill of a lemur. (Assuming lemurs have skills. Perhaps they have skillz.) He eclipsed $1 million in total winnings on yesterday's show, and none of the games that I've seen have been remotely close.
I've spent a fair amount of time with my family in recent weeks, as KJ/KenJen/The Stormin' Mormon has gone on his run. My sister cringes every time he answers a question, claiming that Ken has gotten cocky, and his expressions upon guessing are obnoxious. As a fellow blond-haired, arguably nerdish software engineer, I can't help but root for his continued domination, less a more formidable competitor goes medieval for $800 on him. But this is Day 31 of his reign. He's on TV more than Regis. And clearly, something has to be done about this.
It's clear that Ken has passed the Jeopardy litmus test. The man is built to answer trivia questions, what with his website of his 2000 favorite movies, double English and computer science degrees, and extensive quiz bowl experience. That's why I think starting next week, if Ken wants to stay on the airwaves, he should do so on other game shows.
Imagine the excitement in the air as the curtain raises over his first challenge... starting from Contestants Row on The Price is Right! If he wins the Showcase Showdown (and a lovely 26-foot camper), the next night, Fear Factor's Joe Rogan could saunter onto the Jeopardy! set and force Ken to eat a jar full of bloodworms. If Ken has the stomach, Chuck Woolery could drop by the next night and subject Ken to a Surpise Woolery Challenge, picking either Scrabble, Lingo or the dreaded Love Connection out of his hat. Night 4 would bring in the big guns, as the Jennings family would play against the Millers from Ohio on Family Feud. Finally, if the Millers didn't finish him off... the last night certainly would, as Ken would have to face off against Hiroyuki Sakai, Iron Chef French, in Kitchen Stadium. Of course, if he beats Iron Chef French, he would be automatically elected President of the United States. Come on, would you argue?
OK, enough for now.
