Eww, Gross (A Novel).

And now, ripped from the pages of my life, I present my latest work, entitled Things You Never Want To Hear in a Men's Locker Room Shower.

CHAPTER I

"Haakkkkkkkkk... ptoo."

CHAPTER II

"Ugggh. Uggghhh. Ahhhh. Huhhhh. Dahhhh. Uhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh..."

EPILOGUE

"Snifffffffff... ptoo."


PRAISE FOR THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR IN A MEN'S LOCKER ROOM SHOWER

"A visceral masterpiece... aims to frighten the reader, and wholeheartedly succeeds." --San Francisco Chronicle

"I see London, I see France, I see Pulitzer's underpants." --The New York Times

"Someone's stealing my patented chapter gimmick." --Dan Brown